Why Perfectionism Isn’t Perfect
Why Being Mr. (or Mrs.) Perfect may not be so perfect after all.
Perfectionism is one of those wonderful character traits that we all aspire too, but can often lead to drastically negative behaviour. It continually points to our failures, no matter how small and undermines our achievements.
Culturally, we prize perfectionism; Steve Jobs is frequently held as an ideal for insisting on perfection.
As we’ve discussed elsewhere, adaptability is a key ingredient in resilient people. And resilient people are the ones who will come back time and again to face a challenge. The irony of perfectionism is that eventually, the perfectionist will give up. And whatever challenge they faced will be left un-conquered. Was Steve Jobs a perfectionist? Or was he able to adapt his ideas to the modern marketplace? That debate still rages on in our office today.
But research now shows us that perfectionism is an acquired trait, we’re certainly not born with it. How perfect were your idle doodles as a 4 year old? Could they have been better?
One interesting shift in modern society is the pressure we place on our children to succeed. Without the requisite social skills in place, children often perceive this pressure as criticism. And it’s this perceived criticism that works its way into the psyche and develops as a trait.
One side effect to perfectionism is a focus on control; it encourages rigid thinking and behaviour. That’s precisely the opposite of what is required from individuals across organisations in the modern context, where we want to see innovation and flexibility.
According to Psychology Today:
“Perfectionism reduces playfulness and the assimilation of knowledge; if you’re always focused on your own performance and on defending yourself, you can’t focus on learning a task. Here’s the cosmic thigh-slapper: Because it lowers the ability to take risks, perfectionism reduces creativity and innovation—exactly what’s not adaptive in the global marketplace.”
“Yet, it does more. It is a steady source of negative emotions; rather than reaching toward something positive, those in its grip are focused on the very thing they most want to avoid—negative evaluation. Perfectionism, then, is an endless report card; it keeps people completely self-absorbed, engaged in perpetual self-evaluation—reaping relentless frustration and doomed to anxiety and depression.”
Below we list some of the personality traits exhibited by perfectionists.
Concern over mistakes: Perfectionists tend to interpret mistakes as equivalent to failure and to believe they will lose the respect of others following failure.
High personal standards: Perfectionists don’t just set very high standards but place excessive importance on those standards for self-evaluation.
Parental expectations: Perfectionists tend to believe their parents set very high goals for them.
Parental criticism: Perfectionists perceive that their parents are (or were) overly critical.
Doubting actions: Perfectionists doubt their ability to accomplish tasks.
Organisation: Perfectionists tend to emphasise order.
In a team environment we’ve experienced first-hand that the rigidity of perfectionism is difficult to work with. The drive for the perfect answer doesn’t make space for the weird and wonderful world of collaboration.
What can you do to overcome the drawbacks to perfectionism? As a starting point, we can take a leaf from Taibi Kahler’s book on drivers. He identified ‘Be Perfect’ as an inherent driver type and offered these suggestions:
- Encourage playfulness in your thinking process
- Cultivate mindfulness when dealing with others
- Practise accepting imperfection from others as well as yourself
- Acknowledge the effort that’s put into meeting challenges
- Invite feedback and embrace it
Perfectionism can be problematic because it can lead to obsessiveness, which in turn leads to a whole host of issues around attendance, performance, and morale. For example; you’ll often see a perfectionist procrastinate because they’re afraid of failing before they start.
Or even worse, they may position themselves as a martyr. Certainly in a business context, the employees we regard as heroes, the ones who come in early, stay late, and solve every problem can actually mask inherent business issues. The simple fact that heroic measures are required means at least some things are not working right. So whether we call a person hero or martyr – we need to ask the question, what is really going on and what can we learn from that?